I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
