One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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