my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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