my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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