I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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