Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
