CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
