so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
