I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
