i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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