I cockslap morals
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
