I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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