he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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