well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
