If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
