i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
