He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
