Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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