Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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