Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize