No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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