not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
