oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
