Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
