Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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