she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
