And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
