am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
