If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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