do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
