Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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