I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i now understand why vodka
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
