Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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