You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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