Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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