I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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