the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
