My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
