Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
