People in love make me want to vomit
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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