when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
