her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
