I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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