btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
