god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
