He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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