Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
