Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
nutella sex= disaster
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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