Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just pee around me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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