he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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